So, I get invited to this house party...

It was free beer & drugs, leave your brain in the bedroom with the others, thank you very much, type of night.  I found myself standing where I'm accustomed to standing at parties, just left of the tap, glass, plastic cup, empty beer bottle, bucket, whatever, in hand, drinking beer like they’re shipping it all to China tomorrow & I haven’t got a passport.

All of a sudden this kid's in my face, all 98 drunken pounds of him.  There's some spittle coursing down his tattooed & pierced chin & a black Mohawk bobbing to the beat of Crass on the Hi-Fi (if you have to ask, you don’t know).

"What’s your favorite cartoon character?!!"  He yelled. Barely finding enough time to think, he’s yells again: "Come on, muthaf*cker!  What’s your favorite cartoon character, man!??!" I have just been formally (more or less) introduced to the immanent visionary-prophet, albeit drunk-most-of-the-time, sage & otherwise hyperactive, Nostril-dumb@ss. Nostril to his friends & Southern grandmother only.  Before I can find the brain cells to begin to muster a reply, he’s off, pin wheeling across the room, bouncing off everyone, spilling beer all over the floor, while the dogs lap the stuff up as fast as he can spill it.  I’m not sure what just happened, but I think I just made my first friend in Sad Diego.

This guy was & probably still is, the living embodiment of chaotic energy.  Nothing fazed him, I mean nothing...  The next day, we were drinking 40's of Mickey's & doing cough-syrup shooters.  Nostril waddles out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles & a shiny, new safety-pin shoved through the head of his @#*!  I mean, a safety-pin through the head of his @#*!  Let, me say it again.  The head of his @#*!  Even now, years & beers later, it hurts to think about it.

He then proceeded to reinsert the safety-pin into his scrotum, his nose, his lip & his ear.  He did all of this in front of the whole howling household, never flinching or breaking a sweat, piercing his entire body just about.  The guy sitting next to me uttered in a hushed tone of awe usually reserved for the witnessing of miracles & acts of god:

"That’s punk, man.  I mean, that’s just f*ckin’ total punk!"

It was the most profound statement I have ever heard.  This guy sure did make a lasting impression, which is why wherever I go on the west coast, I meet people who know him, or at least know of him.

Michael Winter & Barbara Fortugno of Italy @ Balboa Park, San Diego          

If I ever meet up with Nostril again, I'll still be his friend.  I've had many teachers and a few students, but, I can’t remember having one that made me smile so much in such a short period of time.  So, Nostril, wherever you are, I like you, but please man, get a tetanus shot! 

[ To Chad ]