I woke up in Alaska on a Friday morning in the middle of February.  It’s a little over 20 degrees outside and most of the land is covered in snow.  It was just the other day, that I was with my nephew in Hermosa Beach – capturing some picture perfect photographs in the sand.

Today, all I can focus upon is the mission at hand.  I am here, simply to prove that my strange Alaskan tales are true.  So, once again, it is my mission to hunt down & capture “The Hype”.   It isn’t an easy task to accomplish.  I have no idea on how I am going to prove that the wonders and mystic beauty of this often forgotten land, generates a magical story line right out of the air. 

GRUENING MIDDLE SCHOOL – Home & spirit of The Colts, is where this mission begins.  There I was, hosting a post Valentine’s Day dance party alongside Donny Dean and his new sidekick Kristophe (Chris-toff).  The kids keep asking me:

Were you on MTV?

The next thing I know, I’m signing autographs & posing for pictures.  Of course, I ate this hype-style all up.  I guess you can say, I was the coolest celebrity!  The funny thing about this little scenario, I’m still that same ol’ Geo! character that ran wild in the streets of Anchorage for Power 102fm - Mr. Rags - & “The Ol’ Mighty Hype”!  The power of television, what an amazing concept!  (Ya think?)

SERVICE HIGH - is Anchorage, Alaska’s version of West Beverly High (90210).  In past journal entries, it was “Service High and The Geo!” that made the perfect 1-2 combination for a successful hype-crusade.  Basketball tournaments - house parties - school dances - cute young teachers - and of course, the musical misadventures with “The Service Cougar” (The victory song for their 1995 state champion football team – written and sung by yours truly). 

All right, here’s the scene.  Donny and I were on this high raised platform, testing the lights & checking a few of the gauges. Yeah, I am cranking out a few international tracks on the system.  2 Unlimited, Def Dames Dope & a German song titled Herz an Herz.  This teacher runs up to me.

“What’s your name?” she says. 

“That’s my boy, Geo! ‘The hype-man’” Donny blurts out.

“Oh, my gosh!” She replies, hurling her body onto mine. “I thought you were in California!”

It was my good friend, Kim (teacher no. 3).  Our embrace lasted for quite awhile, far longer than I expected.  She wasn’t tired, but yet, she presented an unusual look to me.   Her face was make-up free while her hair laid flat and absolutely lifeless.  She also wore this over-sized sweatshirt with a pair of matching shorts.  Surely, this was not the fun loving Physic’s teacher who once joked at me as being a fashion victim to society.  

“Wow, Geo!” She exclaims.  “Your face has really filled out---” 

Well, something like that.  I thought she was exploiting me as some kind of fat boy!  But, ol’ Kimmy was trying to say that The Geo! has traveled far from his kid days in Anchorage. Next, Wendy entered the scene (teacher no. 2).  She smiles and greets us, taking little notice of who I am.  Naturally, she didn’t recognize me.  But later, the mid-western Social Studies teacher, maintains her coolness.   She rubs up against me, while bringing to life the old Hellfighters nite club.

“Now that I’m married,” She says.  “who are you gonna practice your dance moves with?”

For the first twenty minutes into the dance, I sat on the bleachers with Wendy and Kim.   We were discussing my future plans in LA, when I started to notice a definite change in the quality of the female student body.   Service used to have elite looking women.   Rich - Snobby - and too much for the average man to handle, is how I remembered my Service High cuties.  But now, their women look like everybody else’s.  Kind of brought to mind the disappearance of the preppy students - the legendary greaser crowd, and of course, the head cheerleader dating the captain of the football team, or was that the quarterback? 

Finally, Michele showed up (teacher no. 1).  Michele and I go way back.  Dancing - dinner - cruising - hiking and sliding down Flat Top Mountain, was among my favorites with this 29yr. old French teacher.  I met Michele on the eve of my 20th Birthday (23rd with my fake ID).  We danced the night away and munched down cheese sticks ‘til dawn.  Then, she slips me her number on a dingy old napkin.

“You better not wait long to call!” She says.

So, when Michele approached us, I expected something big.

“Oh, hey Geo.” Was all I got.  

Surely, that wasn't the reaction I anticipated.  Plus, her snobbish attitude threw me completely off guard, leaving me to wonder - what's going on?  When I left Alaska, Kim was the only teacher to give me her address.  Michele simply left me a joke-style note on the back of a formal picture to remember her by.

“They call you Mr. Personality...” She writes.  “Don’t play too many games in the real world, or you just might find yourself, brokenhearted!”

The note was referring to last June, when Michele finally found out that I was 7yrs. her junior – one year older than her own students, the night we met.  I figured that the time has come, for Michele and I to have one of those long conversations.  I asked her to meet me after the dance, so that we could fix the hinges in our friendship.  Somehow, my offer offended her and sank right into the ground.

“Gosh Geo!”    She replies.  “First, you’re in Pennsylvania.  Then, you’re in California.  And now, you’re here - asking me to simply toss my weekend plans, just for you!” 

That's when it hit me.  How did Michele know that I was in California?  Kim must have bragged, because if you look back upon past journal entries from "The 1995 Road Trip" it clearly states, that the trip to California was a total spontaneous reaction.  When I confronted Michele with this little piece of information, she tries to divert my attention by criticizing my sudden leave from Alaska.  She claims, that I deliberately waited to the last minute to tell everybody about my road trip, simply to avoid any second thought mistakes.  Well, true believer, I was taught a valuable lesson that night.  I learned that once you loose 1 SHS teacher, you mine as well loose 'em all.  At least the dance went well.   I ended up following Kristophe's lead in entertaining the students while Donny hogged the microphone, all night long.  Hm.  Somehow, Service just isn't Service anymore, without the teachers to backup "The Hype".

SATURDAY - was The Fur Rendezvous dance party.  Set-up went smooth.   Donny’s head DJ, Richie Boy, didn’t give me any bad vibes.  Wow!  For the first time on record, we were actually performing as a team.  He even asked me if I wanted to DJ first - simply to jump-start “The Hype”?  Naturally, something had to ruin this historic moment, Elizabeth! 

Elizabeth is Richie Boy's love interest that I’ve been hearing so much about!  She’s Richie Boys' new life - Richie Boys' this and that - Richie Boy's all soft and mushy when she’s around.  He brags about Elizabeth so much, that I’m beginning to think that without her, he’s still that same lost in life individual who refuses to DJ side by side with “The Hype”.

So, when Elizabeth and I finally met, the look of suspense took both of us by surprise.  Forget the reunion hug!  I was thrown completely overboard by the fact that this wonderful loving individual, is the same seductress who at one time ended the friendship between Roy Garcia, hype-boy #1, and I (Tales of The Hype! Year 2).   I couldn’t resist the opportunity.  I had to feed Donny a juicy bowl of gossip, which eventually made it straight to Richie Boys' ears. 

Well, it’s always good to know some things never change.  I simply avoided eye contact with Richie Boy all night long.  Besides, I had better things to attend to, like my unresolved flirt session with Jenny Mack and Jennifer Prange (package deal).  I met both of them at Goose Lake, back in the summer of ’93.  I acted as Jenny’s jealous boyfriend, simply to discourage curious on-lookers upon her sunbathing attire.  Then, they introduced me to Megan O’Leary, a diehard “Singled Out” fan.  Megan was so into my presence, that our conversation didn’t even meet, eye to eye.  Oh, well.  That’s Hollywood for you.

SUNDAY - was a slow day at Powersounds Music Outlet (Donny’s new music store in Wasilla).  I was sound asleep in the back office – dreaming about some long gone misadventure, when some certified cutie wakes me up.  It’s Shelly Coolridge, Donny’s friend from Anchorage.  Donny smiles big while snapping a picture of my stimulated reaction.

“I figured that’ll get ‘cha up!”  He says.

Well, to skip all the fake-jakin’, Shelly gave me the mother of all deals.  Besides staying at her house and enjoying some quality home cooked meals, I could also use her car while she’s at work!  Get this, all for $19.95! (Okay, I lied.  It was FREE!)  Now, don’t over excite yourself, ‘cause we’re talking about Geo! “The Hype-man”.   That’s right, the same hype-styles that brought you Emmy award winning stories, such as “Why is my girlfriend with that dude?” (Tales of The Hype! Year 1) and the three time best seller - “Men have feelings too!” (Tales of  The Hype! Year 2).

6pm, Shelly’s condo.  I was laying on her bed, scanning through some of her photographs.  Yeah, she let me snag a few.   But, what really caught my attention was Shelly’s leg rubbing up my thigh.   I tried to ignore her advancements, ‘cause if you forgot, I had no ground to stand on.  Then, the phone rings.  Coolness!  It was the classic case of being saved by the bell.  Now, don’t get me wrong, because Shelly’s a beautiful woman.  I simply had other plans on my mind that didn’t involve her.

Anyway, on the phone was Shelly’s ex-boyfriend, who’s still married to some chick (they’re separated or something crazy like that).  This ex-boyfriend of hers, named Clyde, weighs in around 225 pounds of pure muscle.   He’s a black belt in Karate and at the same time, a jilted lover.  I guess (from what I heard) he drove by Shelly’s house, just to see if she was home.  Then, he argued with her for almost an hour, at a pay phone in 10 degree weather, two blocks away.  He was desperate for her love.  He constantly drowned Shelly in his sorrows - turning my little paradise wonderland into some sick dramatic scene, straight out of the pages of Madd Magazine.  Then, Clyde decided that it was time for him to come over.

“Clyde,” she said.  “I don’t mind you coming over, but I want ‘cha to know - my friend from LA is here for a couple of days.” She also added. “No Clyde, he’s just a friend---”.

Needless to say, I was absolutely against the idea of this guy coming over. I’m not an eavesdropper, but yet,  I was constantly being drawn into every heart pounding sentence Shelly threw back at him.  She put up a good fight, but in the end, Clyde squashed her poor little heart in 5 minutes flat.

“Clyde, I can never have you!”  She cried.  “As long as she’s apart of your life---”.

Then, the tears came pouring down.  Clyde, I don’t wanna be the other woman!”. 

Their confrontation ended briefly afterwards.  Shelly hung up the phone and ran over to me - smiling happy - cheery - acting like everything’s all right?  I don’t think so!  There was absolutely nothing all right about this situation!  I broke into a smile, ‘cause I didn’t doubt my luck, not for one second!  I got up and Shelly followed my happy-go-lucky smile straight to the phone.

“Oh what, you don’t wanna stay with me now?”

I took a couple steps back as she tried to massage my arm, crossing into my personal space.   For some odd reason, Shelly dove blindly into a pool of denial.  She couldn’t understand that the second Clyde walks through that door, I’m guaranteed an enemy for life!  Furthermore, I don’t see why Clyde would go home, knowing that some unknown guy is just being a ‘friend’ to ‘his’ Shelly.  Hm...

Oh well, the night did end up pretty lame.  I crashed at my step-brothers house.  There’s a huge nasty looking dog, that sheds everywhere!  There’s nothing in the refrigerator.  There’s no cold water (pipes are frozen), Two non-mobile vehicles in the driveway, no extra wash rags & no extra blankets.  Nothing, absolutely nothing at all!  But yet, no matter how many times I turned throughout the night, the decision I made, suited me quite right.


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