I woke up in Alaska on a Friday morning in the middle of February. Its a little over 20 degrees outside and most of the land is covered in snow. It was just the other day, that I was with my nephew in Hermosa Beach capturing some picture perfect photographs in the sand.
Today, all I can focus upon is the mission at hand. I am here, simply to prove that my strange Alaskan tales are true. So, once again, it is my mission to hunt down & capture The Hype. It isnt an easy task to accomplish. I have no idea on how I am going to prove that the wonders and mystic beauty of this often forgotten land, generates a magical story line right out of the air.
GRUENING MIDDLE SCHOOL Home & spirit of The Colts, is where this mission begins. There I was, hosting a post Valentines Day dance party alongside Donny Dean and his new sidekick Kristophe (Chris-toff). The kids keep asking me:
The next thing I know, Im signing autographs & posing for pictures. Of course, I ate this hype-style all up. I guess you can say, I was the coolest celebrity! The funny thing about this little scenario, Im still that same ol Geo! character that ran wild in the streets of Anchorage for Power 102fm - Mr. Rags - & The Ol Mighty Hype! The power of television, what an amazing concept! (Ya think?)
SERVICE HIGH - is Anchorage, Alaskas version of West Beverly High (90210). In past journal entries, it was Service High and The Geo! that made the perfect 1-2 combination for a successful hype-crusade. Basketball tournaments - house parties - school dances - cute young teachers - and of course, the musical misadventures with The Service Cougar (The victory song for their 1995 state champion football team written and sung by yours truly).
All right, heres the scene. Donny and I were on this high raised platform, testing the lights & checking a few of the gauges. Yeah, I am cranking out a few international tracks on the system. 2 Unlimited, Def Dames Dope & a German song titled Herz an Herz. This teacher runs up to me.
Whats your name? she says.
Thats my boy, Geo! The hype-man Donny blurts out.
Oh, my gosh! She replies, hurling her body onto mine. I thought you were in California!
It was my good friend, Kim (teacher no. 3). Our embrace lasted for quite awhile, far longer than I expected. She wasnt tired, but yet, she presented an unusual look to me. Her face was make-up free while her hair laid flat and absolutely lifeless. She also wore this over-sized sweatshirt with a pair of matching shorts. Surely, this was not the fun loving Physics teacher who once joked at me as being a fashion victim to society.
Wow, Geo! She exclaims. Your face has really filled out---
Well, something like that. I thought she was exploiting me as some kind of fat boy! But, ol Kimmy was trying to say that The Geo! has traveled far from his kid days in Anchorage. Next, Wendy entered the scene (teacher no. 2). She smiles and greets us, taking little notice of who I am. Naturally, she didnt recognize me. But later, the mid-western Social Studies teacher, maintains her coolness. She rubs up against me, while bringing to life the old Hellfighters nite club.
Now that Im married, She says. who are you gonna practice your dance moves with?
For the first twenty minutes into the dance, I sat on the bleachers with Wendy and Kim. We were discussing my future plans in LA, when I started to notice a definite change in the quality of the female student body. Service used to have elite looking women. Rich - Snobby - and too much for the average man to handle, is how I remembered my Service High cuties. But now, their women look like everybody elses. Kind of brought to mind the disappearance of the preppy students - the legendary greaser crowd, and of course, the head cheerleader dating the captain of the football team, or was that the quarterback?
Finally, Michele showed up (teacher no. 1). Michele and I go way back. Dancing - dinner - cruising - hiking and sliding down Flat Top Mountain, was among my favorites with this 29yr. old French teacher. I met Michele on the eve of my 20th Birthday (23rd with my fake ID). We danced the night away and munched down cheese sticks til dawn. Then, she slips me her number on a dingy old napkin.
You better not wait long to call! She says.
So, when Michele approached us, I expected something big.
Oh, hey Geo. Was all I got.
Surely, that wasn't the reaction I anticipated. Plus, her snobbish attitude threw me completely off guard, leaving me to wonder - what's going on? When I left Alaska, Kim was the only teacher to give me her address. Michele simply left me a joke-style note on the back of a formal picture to remember her by.
They call you Mr. Personality... She writes. Dont play too many games in the real world, or you just might find yourself, brokenhearted!
The note was referring to last June, when Michele finally found out that I was 7yrs. her junior one year older than her own students, the night we met. I figured that the time has come, for Michele and I to have one of those long conversations. I asked her to meet me after the dance, so that we could fix the hinges in our friendship. Somehow, my offer offended her and sank right into the ground.
Gosh Geo! She replies. First, youre in Pennsylvania. Then, youre in California. And now, youre here - asking me to simply toss my weekend plans, just for you!
That's when it hit me. How did Michele know that I was in California? Kim must have bragged, because if you look back upon past journal entries from "The 1995 Road Trip" it clearly states, that the trip to California was a total spontaneous reaction. When I confronted Michele with this little piece of information, she tries to divert my attention by criticizing my sudden leave from Alaska. She claims, that I deliberately waited to the last minute to tell everybody about my road trip, simply to avoid any second thought mistakes. Well, true believer, I was taught a valuable lesson that night. I learned that once you loose 1 SHS teacher, you mine as well loose 'em all. At least the dance went well. I ended up following Kristophe's lead in entertaining the students while Donny hogged the microphone, all night long. Hm. Somehow, Service just isn't Service anymore, without the teachers to backup "The Hype".
SATURDAY - was The Fur Rendezvous dance party. Set-up went smooth. Donnys head DJ, Richie Boy, didnt give me any bad vibes. Wow! For the first time on record, we were actually performing as a team. He even asked me if I wanted to DJ first - simply to jump-start The Hype? Naturally, something had to ruin this historic moment, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth is Richie Boy's love interest that Ive been hearing so much about! Shes Richie Boys' new life - Richie Boys' this and that - Richie Boy's all soft and mushy when shes around. He brags about Elizabeth so much, that Im beginning to think that without her, hes still that same lost in life individual who refuses to DJ side by side with The Hype.
So, when Elizabeth and I finally met, the look of suspense took both of us by surprise. Forget the reunion hug! I was thrown completely overboard by the fact that this wonderful loving individual, is the same seductress who at one time ended the friendship between Roy Garcia, hype-boy #1, and I (Tales of The Hype! Year 2). I couldnt resist the opportunity. I had to feed Donny a juicy bowl of gossip, which eventually made it straight to Richie Boys' ears.
Well, its always good to know some things never change. I simply avoided eye contact with Richie Boy all night long. Besides, I had better things to attend to, like my unresolved flirt session with Jenny Mack and Jennifer Prange (package deal). I met both of them at Goose Lake, back in the summer of 93. I acted as Jennys jealous boyfriend, simply to discourage curious on-lookers upon her sunbathing attire. Then, they introduced me to Megan OLeary, a diehard Singled Out fan. Megan was so into my presence, that our conversation didnt even meet, eye to eye. Oh, well. Thats Hollywood for you.
SUNDAY - was a slow day at Powersounds Music Outlet (Donnys new music store in Wasilla). I was sound asleep in the back office dreaming about some long gone misadventure, when some certified cutie wakes me up. Its Shelly Coolridge, Donnys friend from Anchorage. Donny smiles big while snapping a picture of my stimulated reaction.
I figured thatll get cha up! He says.
Well, to skip all the fake-jakin, Shelly gave me the mother of all deals. Besides staying at her house and enjoying some quality home cooked meals, I could also use her car while shes at work! Get this, all for $19.95! (Okay, I lied. It was FREE!) Now, dont over excite yourself, cause were talking about Geo! The Hype-man. Thats right, the same hype-styles that brought you Emmy award winning stories, such as Why is my girlfriend with that dude? (Tales of The Hype! Year 1) and the three time best seller - Men have feelings too! (Tales of The Hype! Year 2).
6pm, Shellys condo. I was laying on her bed, scanning through some of her photographs. Yeah, she let me snag a few. But, what really caught my attention was Shellys leg rubbing up my thigh. I tried to ignore her advancements, cause if you forgot, I had no ground to stand on. Then, the phone rings. Coolness! It was the classic case of being saved by the bell. Now, dont get me wrong, because Shellys a beautiful woman. I simply had other plans on my mind that didnt involve her.
Anyway, on the phone was Shellys ex-boyfriend, whos still married to some chick (theyre separated or something crazy like that). This ex-boyfriend of hers, named Clyde, weighs in around 225 pounds of pure muscle. Hes a black belt in Karate and at the same time, a jilted lover. I guess (from what I heard) he drove by Shellys house, just to see if she was home. Then, he argued with her for almost an hour, at a pay phone in 10 degree weather, two blocks away. He was desperate for her love. He constantly drowned Shelly in his sorrows - turning my little paradise wonderland into some sick dramatic scene, straight out of the pages of Madd Magazine. Then, Clyde decided that it was time for him to come over.
Clyde, she said. I dont mind you coming over, but I want cha to know - my friend from LA is here for a couple of days. She also added. No Clyde, hes just a friend---.
Needless to say, I was absolutely against the idea of this guy coming over. Im not an eavesdropper, but yet, I was constantly being drawn into every heart pounding sentence Shelly threw back at him. She put up a good fight, but in the end, Clyde squashed her poor little heart in 5 minutes flat.
Clyde, I can never have you! She cried. As long as shes apart of your life---.
Then, the tears came pouring down. Clyde, I dont wanna be the other woman!.
Their confrontation ended briefly afterwards. Shelly hung up the phone and ran over to me - smiling happy - cheery - acting like everythings all right? I dont think so! There was absolutely nothing all right about this situation! I broke into a smile, cause I didnt doubt my luck, not for one second! I got up and Shelly followed my happy-go-lucky smile straight to the phone.
Oh what, you dont wanna stay with me now?
I took a couple steps back as she tried to massage my arm, crossing into my personal space. For some odd reason, Shelly dove blindly into a pool of denial. She couldnt understand that the second Clyde walks through that door, Im guaranteed an enemy for life! Furthermore, I dont see why Clyde would go home, knowing that some unknown guy is just being a friend to his Shelly. Hm...
Oh well, the night did end up pretty lame. I crashed at my step-brothers house. Theres a huge nasty looking dog, that sheds everywhere! Theres nothing in the refrigerator. Theres no cold water (pipes are frozen), Two non-mobile vehicles in the driveway, no extra wash rags & no extra blankets. Nothing, absolutely nothing at all! But yet, no matter how many times I turned throughout the night, the decision I made, suited me quite right.
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